How to deal with big changes in your life

"Try not to resist changes that come your way. Instead let life live through you. And do not worry that your life is turning upside down. How do you know that the side you are used to is better than the one to come?" - Rumi

To live a life as a human being a person must evolve, adapt, and shift. For some people these changes can feel overwhelming. They can cause fear, confusion, anxiety and a host of other emotions. Change can cause paralysis as a person struggles to cope with his own ambivalence. However, when a person learns to manage one's own experience he may find that life changes can feel exciting and energizing.

Change in life is inevitable. Like the moon and the tide, changes in a person's life are natural. Some changes may be calculated and predictable, while others may startle like rainstorm on a beautiful sunny day. But isn't there beauty in the rainstorm? A person cannot control the weather, but he may manage his own responses. He can prepare in advance and pack an umbrella. He can choose to get wet and dance in the rain. He can choose to seek shelter under a nearby roof. He has choices.

When faced with big changes it is important to remember we all have choices. At times our attempt to control the world around us can feel frustrating. Like a child learning to ride a bicycle, we may feel fearful of failing, of falling to the ground in a painful and embarrassing crash. We may spend hours planning and preparing only to have our vision fall apart. We may expend sweat and tears to shape our reality, only to find we are living in a fantasy. When faced with big changes it is easy to lose sight of the fact no matter how many times we run through the scenarios in our mind we as human beings are limited. We cannot control our environment nor can we control those who share that environment with us. We are solely in control of ourselves. It is us up us to develop trust in our selves and faith in our own capacity to adapt. With a little practice we can handle any big change we are faced with. With support from another, we can practice our skills, hone our craft, and take off the training wheels. We may find we even enjoy the ever changing scenery as we bike forward down our own path, totally in control of which direction we go. We are choosing where to steer.

So how can you learn to embrace choices? How do you deal with big changes in your life? Here are some tips:

1. Stay present.

When we stay present and approach life with a gestalt perspective, we are better able to manage the negative emotions that often come with fear of hypotheticals and possibilities. But we do not live in hypotheticals. We live in the here and now.

2. Practice self-care.

Develop a practice for yourself that includes something physical. When we move our bodies we cleanse our minds of clutter. Moving allows us to connect our body and mind in a way that reintegrates fragmented parts of ourselves. When we feel whole we have access to all the strengths that lie within. Including but not limited to our confidence in our ability to choose wisely.

3. Seek out support.

Seeking out support does not necessarily equate to seeking advice about whatever life changes you are faced with. Seeking out support simply means surrounding yourself with people you love who love you. Surround yourself with positive energy and positive people. Rebuild a relationship with a long lost friend. Make that phone call to your Brother 1,500 miles away. Reach out to your co-worker who's always invited you out on his boat. Initiating these small changes within your closest relationships can translate to making those bigger life changes you are faced with.

4. Embrace spirituality.

Go to church. Read your horoscope. Practice to yoga. Listen to gospel. Meditate. Wake up to watch the sunrise. Swim in the ocean. Fall asleep under the stars. Drop a penny in a wishing well. Whatever spirituality means to you, embrace it. Believe in something that matters to you and practice strengthening that belief a little more every day.

Big changes can be tough to cope with and make. But in utilizing these practices you will find they become much more manageable, one change at a time.